


Bruno Is Orange

by STUMPEDD



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Depression, Like no fluff, M/M, Suicide, no one is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 15:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8167607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STUMPEDD/pseuds/STUMPEDD
Summary: Please listen to the song Bruno Is Orange while reading!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Please listen to the song Bruno Is Orange while reading!

_Shhhhh_   
_Bruno, what did you tell that man?_   
_He's a clever man, did you know?_   
_I bet he works for the government._   
_And I know you know I know_   
_I can't control thoughts of things I needed_   
_I believe everybody needs some encouragement._

The kiss was so sweet, so calming. It made Alexander reconsider everything about Jefferson. He smiled so warmly as the kiss gently deepened. When the two pulled away, they shared such a calm and gentle gaze. “That was…” Alexander didn’t wanna finish talking. He just wanted those damn lips back.

Jefferson seemed to agree and pulled him back in. The office vanished. The paperwork Alexander had been holding fell to the ground. Now it was just them. There would be consequences for this. There always were. Right now Alexander didn’t care. 

Oh God he should have cared. The gun shone and shimmered in his hand as the graceful memory faded. Perhaps before he left he’d write a letter. He loved writing. But what about?

Why. That was always what they were about. Why he did it and what got him there. With a shaky hand, Alexander picked up a pen and a paper. He walked to his desk and sat down. It began that day Jefferson kissed him. That day where the fighting stopped and Hell began.

 

_I think it’s real unfair that you should put him there._

John was pacing as he yelled. “Jefferson!? Don’t you know what happened with him and Madison? They broke up because Jefferson was unstable! Now you’re dating him? How low have you dropped Alexander?”

_All we did is kiss. On my grave, I swear_

Alex felt tears well up. “John please! You’re supposed to accept this! We’ve been friends for so long!” He was shaking. He didn’t do that. He didn’t get panic attacks any more. This wasn’t happening to him.

_Where did you find his shoes? A lock of my hair?_

John scoffed in reply. “Dammit Alex. You really are stupid aren’t you?” He looked at the ground. “Fuck it. Enjoy your life. I’m leaving it.” With that John exited the office, feet stomping angrily.

_All we did is kiss. On my grave, I swear_

“John no please!” He reached out but didn’t move. Fine. If John didn’t want him then so be it. He had his Jefferson. He had his love and his life. He didn’t need more. He just needed his love. Jefferson. Thomas.

 

_Some dull morning we were wearing sheets_

It was so nice to wake up next to Thomas. It was a home. It had been a year and they were engaged. They were in love. “Hi Tommy,” whispered Alexander.

Thomas hummed. “Morning ‘lex. Hey I was thinking last night…”

_And he whispered, "I think that they know better than me."_

“What if we got a surrogate and had a kid?” The question was off-putting but it made Alexander’s heart soar. He nodded.

He had to tell someone! He reached over to his phone, and saw the first contact being John. The last message had been about work. Should he tell him? Would John be okay with it? Would John be pissed off even more? Only one way to tell. Alex opened the chat and typed in what he wanted-no, needed-to say. He hovered over the send for a minute before pressing it hard. The reply came quick.

‘Meet me downtown in 10.’

_See this hand that pushed you into the creek?_   
_I'm sorry, 'was just fun, and you were laughing_

John was so excited for Alexander that all the arguing and cold stares had fallen away the moment they looked at each other. They walked around the town for hours and hours on end, until they ended up in the woods.

_We were running towards the street_   
_And I wrote my name into the fresh painted yellow line_   
_And you wrote your name right there next to mine._

They played a game of tag, racing after each other and climbing through trees. Calls of “You can’t get me!” and “you can do better!” called out. They heard sounds of the street ahead but in their excitement, they ignored it. They just ignored it. Why did they ignore it.

_We had to dodge a truck_   
_he almost hit a bug_   
_I think we had some luck_   
_and for two bucks_

There wasn’t any sound to Alex. Just the sight. John’s eyes widening. The truck driving off without a second thought. The red. Oh God that red. Tears formed but no sound came out. No sound. No movement now. There wasn’t the rise and fall of John’s chest. The way it shuddered every third breath out because of an accident as a kid. No more indent in his stomach when he was pausing his breath intakes and outtakes. No more movement. No sound. Alex shut his eyes trying to remember when those were there. When John moved. When John spoke.

_we bought some bread_   
_and fed the grey geese_   
_and the ducks._

It was always amazing when John lead a protest. With just his voice he’d lead people to a victory. He spoke in court cases that had nothing to do with him more times that Alex could count. He was so brave and witty and loved talking. He was the perfect equal for Alexander. They were perfect friends.

John’s smile was also amazing. He snorted whenever something was really funny. He stuck out his tongue when he was proud of a pun. He loved chanting. Banging his fists on tables. Cheering and hooting and hollering. John was great.

_everyone will come_   
_everyone will yell_

Alex didn’t hear as Eliza ran up to him. He didn’t move as she yanked him into a hug. He just stood still. He tried grasping onto that sound. The damn sounds of John he missed so much. Where were they? He swore it was only a second ago John was laughing. He refused to believe that the sound was gone.

_i'd thank you just the same_   
_if you didn't tell_

The funeral was boring. Alex couldn’t hear. The sound was gone. He ignored as John’s dad spoke. Henry didn’t have the same sound. He wasn’t the same. When Thomas kissed him he heard something. His heartbeat. Damn. He didn’t want his heartbeat. He wanted John’s. He’d do anything to trade.

_my mother says that i will surely go to hell._

Alex could hear sounds again. He didn’t want to though. These weren’t the right sounds. Even as he stared at the small body on the screen. The child. His child. Thomas’ child. Nothing. This sound wasn’t what he wanted. What he wouldn't give to not hear again. No sound is better than the wrong sound.

_please be a good man_   
_please say you won't tell_

It felt funny to smile again. With one month until the baby’s birth, it was hard not to. It was going to be a girl. They decided on the name Ansleis. It was a pretty name. Alex was happy again. He liked being happy. It was nice.

_Did you know that that boy is an armed man?_   
_bearing flowers into hands_

“I’ll be back!” Thomas walked out the door and Alexander kept typing. Thomas was just going out to get some last minute things. It was nice, knowing that in a week they’d be parents. Parents to their perfect Ansleis.

It was supposed to be last minute things. Just last minute things.

_Very able to hold me down_   
_(and love me more than anyone)_

The second the gunshot rang, everything was quiet again. No. No. Not again. He just got used to sound again. He didn’t want it to go away. He slammed his computer, no sound. He grabbed his keys. No sound. He slammed the door. No sound. He screamed. Sound. He screamed even louder and fell to the ground, reaching out for that blooded body lit up by the street lamps.

It was just last minute things.

_Did you hear about that mother?_

He didn’t go to her birth. He didn’t want to. She was an omen. A curse. He didn’t want that curse yet. He knew in a few weeks he’d be forced to. Not now though. God no. He needed to get charms and dreamcatchers and anything else to keep her curse away. She’d done enough damn harm to Alexander’s life.

_Broke her daughter's legs in two_

“Dad?”

“The fuck do you want?”

“I’m scared of the monster under my bed.”

“The monster isn’t under your bed dumbass. It’s in you. Now get up to your room.”

Hesitation.

“Go!”

She ran.  
Alex didn’t care.

_And said, "It's too dangerous out there to walk, so i had to save you."_

“Hey dad can I hang out with my friends after school today?”

“Why?”

“We wanna work on our school project.”

“You mean get drunk and have sex. Not on my watch. Get to your room.”

“But-”

“Damnit you demon bitch! Get up there!”

She ran.

Alex didn’t care.

_I think it's real unfair_   
_That you should put him there._

Angelica was yelling again. Alex just drank. He was got at that these days.

_All we did is kiss_   
_On my grave, I swear_

Eliza was gathering items. Alexander drank. He liked it.

_Where did you find his shoes?_   
_A lock of my hair?_

Maria collected his painkillers and his alcohol. He ignored it. He could buy more.

 

_All we did is kiss_   
_On my grave, I swear_

Ansleis cried of happiness. Alexander didn’t like that. She was a curse. She didn’t deserve happiness.

_everyone will come_   
_everyone will yell_

He didn’t expect to see her at the store. She didn’t expect to see him. They did expect to start arguing. It was loud. But they were alone in the dead of night when two employees were left. No one would bother them too much.

_i'd thank you just the same_   
_if you didn't tell_

Alex heard a security guard approaching but he didn’t care. He kept shouting. “Because of you my best friend and husband are dead!”

Silence. The guard stopped. His Ansleis stopped. It was silent. Alex realized what he said. Ansleis didn’t know that. She didn’t know about John and Thomas. She’d only known about Alexander.

_my mother says that i will surely go to hell._

“Oh”

That’s all she could say.

_please be a good man_   
_please say you won't tell_

Alex ran out of the store. He didn’t wanna be there. Not anymore. He wanted to get home.

 

_Bruno, did you know that the greeks in morning would eat oranges?_

So that’s how he got here. The silence. The movement. The curse. That’s why.

He folded up the note and left it neatly on his desk.

_They were firm believers in fruit-curing fevers_

He stood up. He grabbed the gun and looked it over. This belonged to Thomas.

_And I agree_

He lifted it up with a smile. As his friend Aaron Burr said after arguments, Click-Boom.

_See, they believe that an orange warms the stomach._

**Author's Note:**

> not sorry.


End file.
